Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
