I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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