That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
