508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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