My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
