I'm drive I can fine osifer
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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