I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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