Just invented taco cereal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
