The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
