youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
