people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
