Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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