i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
