I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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