Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
