Need sex. Gaining weight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
