Are we in a gay sports bar?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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