chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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