my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
