then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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