OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
