so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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