There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
