I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
