Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
