Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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