ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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