Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
