I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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