An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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