Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
