Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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