I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
