i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
