what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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