North Korea, Best Korea!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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