walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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