dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
