He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize