We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
