end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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