It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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