i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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