We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
