i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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