she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
