Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize