between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize