There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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