Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
