i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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