The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
