trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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