I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
