I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
