i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize