i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
