why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize