I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
