my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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