question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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