There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
